What is Marriage?
Marriage is an institution ordained by God, it was created to fulfill a purpose, because after God had created Man he looked at him and said it is not good for man to be alone, i will make for him an help mate. So based on this premise marriage was created to be a support system for man, because no man or woman can live alone through life, a man or woman cannot bear children alone, in order for a woman to get pregnant she has to meet a man etc.
In order to receive advice, you need to know the fundamental issue, marriages today do not work because of just one simple truth which most people fail to acknowledge, and what is that truth?
Well marriage is an institution created by God and not man, in order to make marriage work it must be done through God’s instructions and not man’s knowledge or understanding. There you go, once you have this basic understanding then it gets easy from here on
Here are a few advises for both men and women
1. Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2-3
Marriage involves the union of two completely different personalities from different backgrounds and upbringing and this is a very tough thing because in reality what may seem acceptable by you may not seem acceptable by the other person. We all have our standards and opinions which we have formed over the years.
So the solution to this issue is to follow God’s standard, letting go of your need to be right, humble yourself, be gentle even when you feel your opinions are being undermined etc. Always be open minded, ready to listen, slow to talk and you will realize that over time you will be better at your relationship
2. Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find? Proverbs 20-6
It is best to based your marriage decision on choice and not emotions, love is an emotion which can easily fade away, to love someone truly is to decide to be faithful to them no matter what. Going into marriage based on love is never enough, what happens when the love is no more there? let’s face it, you can fall out of love the same way you fell in love, if you don’t believe so, why often do you hear cases like i just don’t love them anyone or i do not feel the way i used to before?
So my advice to you is to sit down look at the whole thing critically and ask yourself a few questions like, why do i want to be with this person, does he or she meet my criteria about what i want in a person, would i want to spend the rest of my life with him or her come rain come shine? So it’s about making a concrete choice
3. Now for the matters you wrote about, “it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife and each wife with her own husband. “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife to her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:1-3
Sex is very important in marriage and it must not be taking likely, you should know each others sex orientation before hand and decide, because it will be very sad if later on you discover that there is no sexual compatibility, your marriage may suffer, from research sex is one of the most common reasons for divorce next to money. If a man is sexually active while the woman is not, it can lead to cheating, although it won’t start out intentionally but will eventually lead to that, so it is not always wise to ignore sex, there needs to be a balance, best if both partners are not really active than for one to be and the other is not
Advice For Newlyweds
4. Understand this, the first 5 years of the marriage will be the hardest so brace yourself.
5. Make it an habit from day one to set aside time each day to talk to one another about what happened between both of you that you didn’t like, apologize to one another and bury it there.
6. Establish habits and routines you would both like to share through out your life
7. Also establish goals for your marriage and come up with a plan to make it work
8. Never ever share your problems with a third party, God should be the only third person involved, just talk to him he will answer you
9. Respect and cherish one another, you are each others biggest fan or greatest supporter, everyone else is secondary, your partner should be primary after God
10. No matter how busy your work schedule is, try to spend time together a little during the day, avoid the only night routine, go out on dates, hangout, go see a movie together
11. Always remember that is the easiest to see the flaws of the next person than seeing your own, so always be open to honest opinions and corrections
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